BC a world leader in combining politics & business
SHAMUS HUCKSTER
Vancouver Stump Business Editor
VICTORIA-- The province's ruling party and BC's largest forest products company today announced that they have reached a tentative merger agreement. The joint communique stated that recent events had made the two parties realize that they had many common interests and that there would be political and economic synergies in a merger.
This announcement follows the government's purchase of four percent of Macmillan Bloedel shares last February and the NDP cabinet's totally unrelated decision two months later allowing MB to log the majority of old-growth forests in the Clayoquot Sound.
NDP spokesperson Sol Dout said that modern social-democratic governments can no longer afford to nationalize industries, so they must come up with innovative plans for bringing key industries into the public sector.
"The agreement will also mean that working people in the forest have a political party to call their own."
Pina Stripe, the MB spokesperson, said it is strictly a business decision designed to strengthen their balance sheet and increase dividends, at least until the next election. She said that, as part of the agreement, MB has agreed to rehire all the voters laid off in 1992 and embark on an aggressive hiring program.
As part of the proposed deal, the NDP will nominate five directors to MB's board of directors; MB will get equal representation in the NDP cabinet.
Michael Skywalker, director of BC's Phaser Institute and expert on supply cider economics (which he calls "The Force"), praised the deal, saying "it will usher in a new global trend in vertical integration of political and economic interests, and will increase the value of my MB shares."
NEWS & IMPROVED
Canadian News Manufacturing
TORONTO-- Canada's four major English Language newspaper publishing groups have reached an historic agreement to jointly produce the news. Maclean-Hunter, Southam, Torstar, and Thompson announced that they have formed a joint venture, Canadian News Manufacturing Inc. (CNM), which will produce news for the chains' newspapers in one central location.
CNM spokesperson Bland Clichˇ said that the efficencies achieved by this agreement will allow the Canadian news industry to compete in the new global economy. "Our long-term plan is to export Canadian news to new markets, especially developing countries and Eastern Europe," she said.
Clichˇ explained that news is like any other product line-- consumers want consistent high quality product, no matter what brand they purchase. But she stressed that "consumers will continue to have a choice-- each newspaper brand will retain their own unique packaging, so this new consistency won't mean that all newspapers look the same."
The spokesperson claimed that the agreement was "the logical extension of the current news-service system," and that it would put Canadians at the forefront of news technology.
The centralized production will also mean improved service for national advertisers who can preview and make suggestions for the day's news in a single location.
JOBS, JOBS, JOBS
NEW YORK-- Today MacMillan Bloedel, Fletcher Challenge and the NDP announced their future plans to build a Logger Land theme park on Vancouver Island.
The grand opening has been set to coincide with the completion of clearcutting all of Vancouver Island's old-growth forests-- sometime in late 1994.
The three owners' decision to open this park comes from a plan to employ forest workers, who'll experience a loss of work in the near future due to accelerated clearcutting, mechanization and export of raw logs.
Laid-off workers can look forward to new employment opportunities as ride operators, food vendors and park characters. According to park spokesperson Clair Kutt, Logger Land will feature a series of endangered species mascots like Teddy the Roosevelt Elk and Tilda the Tailed Frog, to teach the younger visitors about the former biodiversity of the region.
Rides and other attractions will include the Biodiversity Rollercoaster, with its multi-lane tracks narrowing to a single track accompanied by sudden and extreme drops. At the Slash & Burn Bulldozer Corral, participants can simulate the annihilation of entire species using virtual-reality goggles and bulldozer control panels for full killing fun. But the park's major attraction should be the Chain-Saw Chase. Riders will be able to motor around a look-a-like rainforest and cut down as many Douglas fir and Sitka spruce trees as they can in three minutes.
A wide variety of food will be available to park-goers. Menu items will include Next-Stop-Chilˇ Dog, Clearcut Clubhouse, Cedar Shakes, Feller-Buncher Fries, Deep-fried Stump Rings and the Logger Land special, the Big MacBlow. As well, visitors can stop at the Ye Olde Growthe Souvenir Shoppe where they can buy one of the last remaining pieces of the ancient rainforest that once covered the whole island.
"Removing those trees may not be quite as bad as all those environmental doomsayers would have us believe," said Logger Land ambassador Speckled Jack the Spotted Owl. "Now we'll have this fabulous theme park for all Canadian families to experience, plus the creation of new jobs for BC's forest workers!"
NIXED MEDIA
COMMANDER DATA
Survey Bureau Correspondent
A new survey of newspaper reporter attitudes and practices shows some significant trends. Nine out of ten of reporters prefer government sources for their stories, up from eight two years ago.
In the in-depth portion of the survey, reasons for preferring government sources included: "it's easier than going out and looking for real ones," "during the Gulf War, they were the only game in town," and "my editor was hassling me for wasting company money on an investigation."
Other preferred sources included PR firms, press releases, and corporate spokespersons.
In a follow up survey, all government officials interviewed indicated their preference for reporters that use government sources. In the words of a former White House press secretary, "if we don't tell them what the news is, they might go out and find some."
Jack Munro gives Stump readers a few inside tips on cooking the spotted owl. Whether it's boiled, baked, or mashed, this endangered bird is a sure palate-pleaser. His secret? Just a pinch of salt! C1
Entertainment
Family fun is guaranteed at the SHARE Festival of Clearcuts this weekend in Uclulet. Highlights include a simulated slash-burn and bulldozer demos. Bring a chainsaw and get in free! C8
Business
The 1993 Strong-Hearst Award for Media Efficiency (SHAME) has been awarded to The Stump editorial board for its role in streamlining environmental coverage. The newspaper consolidated its five BC-wide forestry, fisheries, native affairs, energy and mines, and environment beats into a single urban-centred, super enviro-beat. The SHAME Committee praised Stump downsizing for going "above and beyond the call of business." B1
INDEX
Advertorial B1
BC lotteries I3
BINGO results N2
Canadian lotteries G4
Consumption hints O7
Corporate line B3
Editorial pap I2
Family values N1
Fun & games G9
Good news O2
Happy thoughts !!
Hollywood gossip B2
Inoffensive fluff I1
Pats on the back N5
Puppies & kittens G3
Rationalizations O2
Reassurances B4
Sales pitches I2
Smiles & sunsets N4
US wire services G1
Warm & fuzzies O4
World lotteries !!
